Ian

Ian. I'll start with the good stuff, okay? You know how to cheer me up, although you may not be aware of it or even know that you do. I like talking to you because I can say whatever the heck I want to you and you don't take offense. You're actually amused. And I love that about you. It's so hard to talk to people sometimes when you're always worried about their feelings, ya know? You can never say what you're feeling. Like now for instance. I think a lot of people are going to get their feelings hurt from this. So that's the good stuff, right. You knew it was coming... bad stuff. Well you annoy the crap out of me as well. You're so egotistcal. Or maybe it's just a high level of confidence, but let me tell you. It's off the charts. Something that annoys me to the extreme is when you ask if I know where Isadora is or when you tell me you've found a guy for her that I had no clue about beforehand. Every time you ask. It's like... you're stabbing me in the side. Not on purpose because I'm pretty sure you have no clue. But I just want to scream, "I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS!" I feel like as her "best friend" I'm supposed to know. So this makes me crazy when you ask and I don't. Our relationship (Isadora's and mine) with each other has been, lacking for a better word. We haven't been as close as we were in La since I moved here. I feel like I should already know the guy you're telling me about who you think is good match for her. But no, I haven't talked to her in weeks. So I do finally talk to her about it, but she acts like it's nothing, which it is and doesn't really elaborate only to say that she was joking at first that the guy you were talking about was hot. Just every time you ask me I feel stupid. And so I blocked you. Ooh real mature haha. I just didn't feel like talking to you anymore. It wasn't about the Isadora thing, although that was part of it, it was also the fact that lately you had been getting on and telling me all about what's going on with you. Every single time. You would get on and tell me what you and your friends did or what you guys were going to do. I got tired of it. I felt like you didn't care about our friendship at all. And not because you were hanging out with other people. That was great, I was happy for you, am happy for you, but after I read that note. I had been talking to you a lot online previous to you writing the note. You had said that you hadn't talked to Isadora in weeks, but you put her and two other people as the people you talk to most online. And maybe that's true. I don't care. But when you mentioned her like 6 times in the note and me: none. People don't realize this about me, but I'm going to put it in bold to make it perfectly clear. It takes so little to make me feel like you care about me. So little. Like mentioning my name once in a note. So very little. I just got depressed and angry. I just kept saying to myself why do I even bother? Obviously I'm just some little bland piece of entertainment that every now and again satisfy what you need, which is anyone... doesn't matter who... to tell all the great things going on in your life. Don't read into any of this wrong, though. I don't care that you like Isadora more than me, you knew her before you knew me, remember? I remember. I was just finishing my obsession with that computer game and so I was getting online more... email and IM and the dbs. It had been 5 months or so since I had been on a lot and Isadora was thrilled. haha. Maybe not, I could just feel her smiling through the computer screen, though. It was just a feeling n_n and then she introduced me to you. And shortly after I met Mateo. And I got that friend request thing from you in Imeem. It's so weird, but thinking about those times make me feel really happy